Absence of Miseries

He tries hard to smile
Hides the pain in the rain
Laying the guilt on himself
'Cause it's easier
For him to slay sorrows within
And put it behind a mask
He lives to pretend
Telling everyone he has gotten over
The heartbroken operation
That deprives him of his smile
Every night he wonders
What exactly is he missing out
Something he can't really get a hold of
So every now and then he seeks
For something he don't even know
But not been miserable doesn't mean happiness
Why can't others understand ?
He may have been flawed
And dispossessed of miseries
But it doesn’t make him a happy man.


Note: Can't dig happiness? Why not try absence of miseries? Go figure. This is the offical first entry of my site, the rest of the two were created way back where there's plans to shift site but didn't really happen. For your info , the picture on the background is done by me and the copyright belongs to me. She's a french model and you will need permission to take anything from this site. I took out the icons as well , reckoning I could do with a fresh look and we're no longer linked. I've lost most of them, sadly. Hope you guys like the new look thou.

Disconnect.

Disconnect me of my broken wings and rust
Let the plague overwhelm me
Condemning me in the list of the fallens
Isolated from the world

Try to fix me not
For I am meant to stand alone in the darkness
Among the shadows
Tainting everywhere I walk along

Let me walk alone
The dark as my friend
The light be afraid of me
And you cannot get to me in my realm

We shall come to a truce
I will rule all darkness
You the light
And there will be no compromise

Disconnect me from this cruel world
That I failed to understand of
Those sick games people play
Where conscious is no longer a word they write of

In this place where I have long been disconnected from


"Why can't people in love stay together?"


Note: This will be a particularly long entry as J. tries to revive the last few entries of his previous site for convience sake.


Destiny.

Note: This is the first part of Love will tear us apart, for Jon's sake. For full size glory : http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/9950/lovewilltearusapartic5.jpg and prehaps you might wonder, why is the title Destiny instead ? Guess there's some explaining to do ya ? Well , let's start off with when someone told J. that everyone on this world has a certain destiny meant for them. Some singers, some writer , some photographers and etc. At first, it didn't really make much sense to him. Destiny and what we do. Hm. Doesn't seem so , some people don't like what they are doing don't they ? But then again , if everyone is working as a corporate or industry slave. Who the hell is gonna draw , make music and do movies? Everyone must be doing something and others something else. So, what determines who does what? Maybe his friend is right after all. Destiny decides. Go figure.

Untitled.

Ask me not why I do not do happiness
For I hate to dig my deeply drained well
To salvage that little bit of what's left
So scarce till there's none to dwell upon

The spade of memories kept digging my deserted soil
Hoping to seek presence of happiness
But I disappoint it
Time and time again

Many times too often
I shed tears of miseries
Wanting to keep my well a little damp
Just enough to keep those memories vivid

Ponder me not about the days of un-emptiness
Where Sundays never seem gloomy
So I can actually close my eyes to sleep
Days where the rain never felt cold

Understand me why
I choose to stand alone in the darkness
Against the world so twisted
So corrupted that truth is never really how words can put it
Wanting to see for myself how I can prove it wrong

And that all is not lost
Yet again I could never

Those leaves falling from your tree
Swearing they have seen better days
And decided it's time to leave
To depart from this world we all failed to interpret.


Note: Sorry , this did not have a title. I couldn't come out with one. Maybe the closest will be self-explainary but I understand that that will mean simple to read but this is none of it and I have decided to take the Shakespearic approach. Words will only be words to those who do not feel them. Well , one more thing. These are meant to be on the previous entry but somehow I left them out , perhaps you wanted to see. Here's it. In the world where men fell for menGirls rather be with girlsAnd everybody can't tell who's who nowadaysAm I the odd one out actually ?Lastly; Dear. Take whatever pics you want to, I'll give you special permission for it.



Antidote

"It's so freaking sick to hear that you still miss me after all the lies you put me through, do you actually miss lying to me? "


Leave me alone
Let me stand in the darkness
Reminiscing about the days we were meant
Of the million lies
You kept complicated
So none of us will find out
And how much it hurts then

It hurts now

Sick and tired
Of closing my eyes every time a sad show is on
To be reminded of my own past
Tears that you dropped
When you are the one deceiving me
Yet I'm so dumb

So fucking dumb

To believe it all
I'm even willingly to die for you then
It all makes sense now
If only I'm rational enough to realise before
But yet
Yet you're the one
The one antidote that get me by



Home

I just want to lie on the field
Under the October sun
Soak myself to the skin
Running in the pouring rain
Stand on top of those hills
Shouting your name hundred times
And how much I miss you
Every now and then
I will hug the tree where we met
Say a prayer under it
Wishing you well
Whereever you are
I will sing you those songs I wrote
While you were gone
Of promises we vowed never to break
Please come back home soon



Twisted Fairytales


I will read you a story
A story about this world
This sick world

Sick world

Where people are turning pedophilia
Where wars never stop
Where people no longer care
Where kindness is a word too little

All the fairytales
They starts spinning
Of how many they laid
And how much jewels they have kept

All the twisted fable
And the lies they have told
The love they cheated on
That person they have dumped

I'm starting to wonder
Where did all those fairytales
We once loveOnce knew; went to ?
I guess those fairytales were just fakes

And the only tales I see now
Are those twisted fairytales
That everyone has one or two to tell


Note: EJ , there you have it. Twisted fairytales. Fairytales in adults world does not ever exist. These are all the tales we spin.


Seek.

All of my life I have been seeking
Been confused
Lost in between of nowhere
Just to get to you
You of all my eternity
The reaper of my soul
Sunlight of the flower fields
And everything else
I once seek
Now and forever
Forever and now
You are the closest to heaven I can get
And I don't want to close my eyes now
For fearing that I will lose you I will give up anything
Just to make this moment last
Everything is completed now with you
And I don't need to go home no more
For this is where I seek
And you are all that I need
Tell me please
That you will stay by me
Until the end of our song


Note: J. has written this for all those whom hate his darker side and for his dear whom called him an morbid asshole. This is specially for you; dear. And so much for talking to me nicely Candice. =)