Chapter 1.
Sin Box.
I guess I will write a little bit more before I turn in for the night. No , I don't usually have insomnia. Not at this time of hour but yet I can't seem to fall asleep. The thoughts of her beautiful face kept running through my mind every time I tried to sleep. Over and over again. The blinking cursor waited for me patiently as I tried typing the next line in. Yet nothing came out. Nothing; absolutely nothing at all.
And I fell asleep.
Somehow.
I found myself awake with the bright LCD screen staring at me violently. I forced myself awake and went to work with that aching headache in my mind. What's the headache creeping inside you might ask? Guilt? or just a really bad case of headache.
That's what I'm gonna tell you now.
I write for a living , literally. Not as in write -write but I do journals, articles , news report and art review etc. It's my career , my passion and my dream since schooling days. You see , I'm on my daily assignment by my editor to round up a few churches and interview a few pastors for the local news column. Easy stuff, so I thought. Won't take me too long. So picked the church nearby , like just right across the street and went through the doors of the charming gothic-looking Roman church. I was greeted with the peaceful choirs and beautiful ancient paintings by the sides until an old man in black shirt interrupted my moment of serenity.
"Sir, is there something I can help you with or do you need a moment for yourself?"
"Yeah, I could do with some help."
"You see, I'm a writer, here on an assignment about local churches and their pastors ? I would like to interview one for my report?"
"I'm sorry but he's not around, would you like to wait for him then?" "He'll be back in about an hour or so."
"Alright, mind if I look around , take some pictures and stuff then?"
"The house of the God is open to you and anyone whom lives in his name."
"Thank you."
"I will be around if you need me."
"Will do , I'll wander around a little."
I wished I didn't say that but it's too late to take that back now. So, I went into the confession box, wanting to take a picture from the inside of the 'Sin box'. Confession box so they called it but I didn't expect to hear one that quickly , the moment I stepped in , someone spoke up.
"Father, I've sinned."
"Eh, but I'm-"
"Please Father, you got to listen to me."
"Lady, Listen I-"
"Father, I beg of you; you got to let me say it out before I lose the courage to. Please."
Two tries, two tries was all it took to shut me up. Should have insisted that I'm not the man she's seeking for. I really should have and it was a very very bad mistake.
"Thank you."
"Father, I have lied and harmed people, you may think it is not as serious as I think it might be or a lot of other people had done that before and it's not such a huge sin."
"But- but, I'm telling you Father. It was worst. I was on drugs that other day and I - I don't know what came over me but I pushed someone over the stairs, he fell and he didn't wake up." "He is still lying in the hosptial now."
"I mean, I didn't do it on purpose. I don't know why I did that but i'm as guilty as charged and I don't know how to make it up to him." "Father, what would I do now?"
That was it. I swore I heard her weeping and it's too late to turn back now. It was the point of no return and I had to let her go on.
"Father, what am I supposed to do now? I've been living with the guilt ever since." "He's my ex-boyfriend you know and the worst thing is nobody else knew it was me." "I mean they all thought he got high on drugs and fell himself. I was thinking , would it be better if they knew it was me? That way , I don't have to live with the guilt. Is that selfish Father?" "Am I?"
"Help me Father."
"Please...."
"Ple-"
She broke down; just like that and I didn't have the chance to speak. I waited, for ten minutes? maybe shorter? I don't know. It was like the longest ten minutes in my life and I had to do something about it. I dashed out of the box and to her section of the box, pulled away the curtain and saw her crying inside. She had sharp features and her pretty face was smeared with her black mascara. "Eh, I-"
I didn't think she heard me.
"Miss , I'm sorry but I -"
She looked at me, right into my eyes and I found myself morbidly fascinated by the fact that she was still gorgeous even when she's weeping. We stared at each other for a moment. That moment felt naked. It felt like the naked truth. She ran out of the box and through the door of the church.
Gone. Just like that.
I didn't even had time to react to it. So much for an easy report. I guess I had more than enough for a day.
So , you think I was thinking about her pretty face so much till I can't get to sleep? Guess again, that's not even close. It's just the beginning.
The beginning of it all.
Sin Box.
I guess I will write a little bit more before I turn in for the night. No , I don't usually have insomnia. Not at this time of hour but yet I can't seem to fall asleep. The thoughts of her beautiful face kept running through my mind every time I tried to sleep. Over and over again. The blinking cursor waited for me patiently as I tried typing the next line in. Yet nothing came out. Nothing; absolutely nothing at all.
And I fell asleep.
Somehow.
I found myself awake with the bright LCD screen staring at me violently. I forced myself awake and went to work with that aching headache in my mind. What's the headache creeping inside you might ask? Guilt? or just a really bad case of headache.
That's what I'm gonna tell you now.
I write for a living , literally. Not as in write -write but I do journals, articles , news report and art review etc. It's my career , my passion and my dream since schooling days. You see , I'm on my daily assignment by my editor to round up a few churches and interview a few pastors for the local news column. Easy stuff, so I thought. Won't take me too long. So picked the church nearby , like just right across the street and went through the doors of the charming gothic-looking Roman church. I was greeted with the peaceful choirs and beautiful ancient paintings by the sides until an old man in black shirt interrupted my moment of serenity.
"Sir, is there something I can help you with or do you need a moment for yourself?"
"Yeah, I could do with some help."
"You see, I'm a writer, here on an assignment about local churches and their pastors ? I would like to interview one for my report?"
"I'm sorry but he's not around, would you like to wait for him then?" "He'll be back in about an hour or so."
"Alright, mind if I look around , take some pictures and stuff then?"
"The house of the God is open to you and anyone whom lives in his name."
"Thank you."
"I will be around if you need me."
"Will do , I'll wander around a little."
I wished I didn't say that but it's too late to take that back now. So, I went into the confession box, wanting to take a picture from the inside of the 'Sin box'. Confession box so they called it but I didn't expect to hear one that quickly , the moment I stepped in , someone spoke up.
"Father, I've sinned."
"Eh, but I'm-"
"Please Father, you got to listen to me."
"Lady, Listen I-"
"Father, I beg of you; you got to let me say it out before I lose the courage to. Please."
Two tries, two tries was all it took to shut me up. Should have insisted that I'm not the man she's seeking for. I really should have and it was a very very bad mistake.
"Thank you."
"Father, I have lied and harmed people, you may think it is not as serious as I think it might be or a lot of other people had done that before and it's not such a huge sin."
"But- but, I'm telling you Father. It was worst. I was on drugs that other day and I - I don't know what came over me but I pushed someone over the stairs, he fell and he didn't wake up." "He is still lying in the hosptial now."
"I mean, I didn't do it on purpose. I don't know why I did that but i'm as guilty as charged and I don't know how to make it up to him." "Father, what would I do now?"
That was it. I swore I heard her weeping and it's too late to turn back now. It was the point of no return and I had to let her go on.
"Father, what am I supposed to do now? I've been living with the guilt ever since." "He's my ex-boyfriend you know and the worst thing is nobody else knew it was me." "I mean they all thought he got high on drugs and fell himself. I was thinking , would it be better if they knew it was me? That way , I don't have to live with the guilt. Is that selfish Father?" "Am I?"
"Help me Father."
"Please...."
"Ple-"
She broke down; just like that and I didn't have the chance to speak. I waited, for ten minutes? maybe shorter? I don't know. It was like the longest ten minutes in my life and I had to do something about it. I dashed out of the box and to her section of the box, pulled away the curtain and saw her crying inside. She had sharp features and her pretty face was smeared with her black mascara. "Eh, I-"
I didn't think she heard me.
"Miss , I'm sorry but I -"
She looked at me, right into my eyes and I found myself morbidly fascinated by the fact that she was still gorgeous even when she's weeping. We stared at each other for a moment. That moment felt naked. It felt like the naked truth. She ran out of the box and through the door of the church.
Gone. Just like that.
I didn't even had time to react to it. So much for an easy report. I guess I had more than enough for a day.
So , you think I was thinking about her pretty face so much till I can't get to sleep? Guess again, that's not even close. It's just the beginning.
The beginning of it all.
Note: J. started a new story again. This time round with a page of illustration for each chapter . Somehow, this feels like it's gonna take a long while though. Please pardon him if the chapters are released slowly because he has got to work on the illustration as well. The sketch book-like illustrations were made on purpose. Hope you enjoy this , thank you for reading.
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